Buying For Your Bed

If your bed had a mouth, would you be afraid to hear what it had to say about the way you dress it? Would it tell you that the hand-stitched quilt is nice but that it’s embarrassed to have been wearing the same sheets for the last five years? Would it say that it appreciates the wool throw but that it has always longed for a silk comforter?

If you suspect the stuffy vibe in your bedroom might be a result of your bed silently brooding, why not make it happy? After all, any presents you buy for your bed will really be for you … but we won’t tell anyone!

We’ve interviewed a number of beds and these are the guidelines they came up with when it comes to shopping for them: